Rock Bottom? The Only Way Is Up

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life” ~ J K Rowling Today I weigh 18 stone 7lbs (259 pounds 117.7KG) more than I have ever weighed in my life (including full term pregnancy). How have I got here? Eating too much. Drinking too much. Dieting too much. Many moons ago, probably around 1988 I weighed around 10 stone 7lbs and joined Slimming World for the first time. That is my goal weight now. In those days there was the red and the green day. I totally misunderstood the concept and though all red and green food was free and only the 2 for yous were restricted (I think they’re called Healthy Options now) consequently I gained in my first week. I use this analogy to kind of explain where I’m up to. I decided a long time ago that dieting was making me fat(ter). My last big push to lose weight was when I entered The Outlaw in September 2012. I was 17 and a half stone and I lost a stone and a half in 6 weeks by training consistently and fuelling for hunger. Then I lost my job. It’s the reason the wheels came off the wagon but shouldn’t have been. I had more time to train and should have used it as a time to focus and channel my frustrations into building a healthy body. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The weight crept back on I’ve done no training to speak of and gained another stone since I started my current job 11 months ago. Obviously it’s the job to blame or should I say the amazing free lunches that are provided every day. The job has led me to study Mindfulness, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy all in an attempt to sort out my own head. A very good friend of mine introduced me to a Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis. The App was £4.99 but the first track was £0.99. Not wanting to waste £4 (bearing in mind I’ve wasted absolute thousands of pounds on weight loss gimmicks and gizmos in the past) I bought the first track. I then bought the first track to the Bikini App. I then bought the full VGB App and the full Bikini App and the Reduce your Alcohol. I’m waffling I know but what I’m getting at is I’ve overloaded body and mind and ended up achieving nothing. I work colleague has gestational diabetes. Being really cocky I asked her to test my blood sugar. It was 28.7. I was mortified and managed to get an appointment with the diabetic nurse the following day. We established that had that reading been correct I would have been very unwell and was probably caused by sugars on my fingers (from eating dried fruit and nuts) . I’d had blood tests a couple of days previously:- Gamma GT 80 (should be between 7 and 46) HBA1C 40 (OK) Fasting blood 6.3 (should be less than 6) Cholesterol 5.3 (should be less than 5) 3.1 (ratio fine) Blood Pressure 160 over 120 I expected this to be the wake up of all wake up calls. I desperately wanted her to say “Stop drinking and lose weight Lynne or you will die.” This wasn’t the case. My results are not that bad however she made no bones about if I continue my present lifestyle it won’t be long before she is making that statement. So what am I going to do? My counsellor has been ill for a few weeks but we had an incredibly productive meeting on Friday. Work lunches – I explained “everyone” ate the work lunches and it would be frowned upon and considered rude if I didn’t. She made me realise that it’s far better to upset work colleagues than end up dead. Yes I know over dramatising but I need all the help I can get. The hypnosis is undoubtedly beneficial however I need to establish which one will help me most. She’s asked me to associate wine with bleach. Alcohol (in excess) is a poison. Whilst wine will not cause my organs to melt in the same way that drinking bleach would if I can hold on to that visualization it’s going to help. Here are the Sue Peckham and James Holmes guidelines:- Eat what you want NOT what you can You want to be a slim, fit healthy person so you want to eat the foods that Slim, Fit Healthy people eat. Your body knows what it needs to stay healthy. Listen to your body. Depriving yourself of certain foods only increases your desire for those foods. You always want more of what you believe you can’t have. There are no forbidden foods, just some foods that are healthier than others. Eat whenever you are physically hungry, every time you are physically hungry but only when you are physically hungry. Ignoring your body’s natural hunger can lead to overeating and fat storage later on. Eat SLOWLY Slow your eating speed down to a quarter of what it is now. Put down your knife and fork between mouthfuls and ensure your mouth is completely empty before you take another bite. If you’re still eating too fast then try changing your knife and fork over into the other hand or eat with chop sticks. When eating a sandwich or biscuit etc, put the food down between mouthfuls. After each mouthful ask yourself “Am I still hungry?” As soon as you even think you are no longer hungry STOP eating. Your body will tell you when you have eaten sufficient. Always leave some food on your plate. When you are hungry again later you can eat some more but make sure you STOP eating as soon as you even think you are no longer hungry. So at 50 my goal is to weigh 10 stone 7lbs and my dream is to be medication free. Many lessons learned, living in the present is a gift, I am hopeful of a bright future

The Once And For All 26 Week Plan

Yup folks we’ve been here before. The diet to end all diets. The birth of a new me. The simplest eating plans. The starvation plans. The deprivation plans. The sensible sustainable lifestyle changes. The change one thing…Need I go on?

As with most monumental decisions it starts with Lesley. Her plan of plans started in January and lasted for 10 weeks in which she lost 2 stone. Then she fell off the wagon but hasn’t put anything back on. Her idea is that she needs to dedicate 26 weeks, that’s half a year, to getting where she wants to be. Once she’s there she will be able to maintain it.

Wonderful idea, me thinks. So off I trot and get the calendar. 26 weeks last Friday will be Morgan’s 4th birthday. Perfect timing. When I told my Mum I was pregnant with Morgan she was mortified “You’ll be the oldest and fattest Mum at the school gates and he’ll get teased relentlessly.” Well there’s nothing I can do about the oldest bit.

I’m pretty hacked off in most areas of my life at the moment. All I seem to do is train, go to work, act as taxi service to the kids, waste a couple of hours or so on the computer, watch whatever’s on the telly at 9pm, consume far too much alcohol and fall asleep in the chair.

What don’t I like about that life? Pretty much all of it except spending time with the kids, training and work (I actually love my job – just not impressed with the pay).

So how do I make it change? I thought triathlon training was the magic cure and it was for a while when the pounds were dropping off, when I wasn’t drinking and when I was getting quality and quantity of sleep. So let’s start there.

I Lynne Evans do solemnly declare that I will dedicate the next 26 weeks of my life to getting me where I want to be:

1. I will not drink alcohol
2. I will drink 2l of water a day
3. I will exercise for 6 hours a week (including core exercises)
4. I will get my 5 a day
5. I will banish take aways, chips, pastry and pizza
6. I will stop wasting time on the computer especially Tri Talk and Facebook
7. I will keep on top of my self-employed work
8. I will plan quality time with the kids
9. I will plan quality time with Mark
10. I will have quality time for ME

So there you go.

Well the weight loss plan… Don’t want to do it on a wing and a prayer but don’t want to be too regimented either.

The action plan for this week was wheat free, snack free, alcohol free and generally healthy eating. Done quite well until I had this flash of “Oh my God!” I’ve been having fruit and fibre for breakfast which contains….wheat. Water has been filling me up and then yesterday we get the “boil your tap water” warning. Wouldn’t really be a problem but as every where’s sold out of bottled water and I don’t really want to give Morgan boiled water for his juice I’ve had to do without.

Not done any training this week as my hip’s still a bit sore after doing Chirk on Sunday. The rest won’t do me any harm at all as long as I train consistently from tomorrow. Got in touch with Lance “the ironman” tonight who’s agreed to give me swimming lessons Saturday morning.

Went to the Doctors last night. He’s sending me to Audiology for a hearing test. He thinks I may have thrush in my oesophagus (antibiotics in January) so I’ve got anti fungal tablets and gastro resistant tablets. He also gave me a prescription for Tramadol so I can cope with back pain.

So back to the 26 week plan – 3lb a week = 78lbs = 5stone 8lbs. Starting weight of 15stone 10 WILL see me at 11stone for Morgan’s Birthday even allowing for a tiny blip.

WATCH THIS SPACE.

1st March

Wrote this one and not sure how it didn't get posted but... here goes

Don’t really know where to start with this one.

Was very focussed, Did the training, got the early nights, ate what I should, except for fish and chips from the chippy last Friday, didn’t drink alcohol and LOST 9lbs. I was absolutely extatic. It wasn’t difficult. I wasn’t hungry and I felt so much better except…

I was bloated. Something I learned which I found really strange was to do with bread. OK I know wholemeal is better for you than white but I thought I was being really good by paying extra and having good quality “seeded” bread. What the book basically said was “read the label” make sure the main ingredient is wholemeal, wholewheat or better still stoneground flour. Without exception when I checked the labels of the seedy stuff in Tesco the main ingredient was wheat flour.

I ate lots of bread last week and was convinced that’s why I felt so bloated.

I decided to do the Atkins for a week.

Yup I know, I swore I wouldn’t but I really was quite “desperate” to shift a lot of weight quickly. I haven’t been bloated, my concentration in work has been fantastic, exercise wise I’m flying, I’ve lost another 3lbs but I’m terrified of making myself ill so on Saturday I’ll start something else. Not quite sure what yet.

Start Again....

Yesterday I weighed….

16stone 3lb

Well that’s that then. I’ve put on everything I’ve lost plus 3lb in a week. Why? Guess I was lulled into a false sense of security. By being able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted and still consistently lose 2lb a week had an absolute gorge and basically gained 11lb in a week.

Was a massive slap in the face but I think the wake up call I’ve needed. Chirk is 10 weeks yesterday. I weighed 15stone when I did it last year. I am undoubtedly much fitter but there’s no way I’m going to make any impact unless I lose at least 3 stone (yup in 10 weeks! If 11lb can go on in a week it can jolly well come off in a week!)

So where do I go from here?

Got all the books out yesterday. There was much weeping and wailing. The Atkins I know delivers the most dramatic results but I am so terrified of making myself ill. Best option, me thinks is Rosemary Connelly’s GI Jeans, plus all the Paul McKenna “techniques.”

Saw a lorry this week with “One life! Live it!” That’s what I wanted on my wrist band. I ended up with “U only have one life.” Not as articulate but the same sentiment? I watched an old “A Touch of Frost” on Saturday night. There were two paedophiles who wore elastic bands around their wrists. A self hypnosis tool of when they had the urge, touch the band. Ok my mind is warped I am no paedophile but using the Paul McKenna technique of touching third finger and thumb in a moment of weakness, my one life band will become my crutch.

For a long, long time the plan has been to do a very specific 10 week Olympic triathlon training plan in the 10 weeks prior to Chirk. I am absolutely determined to follow it. I should have swum this morning I ran instead. A 5k Time Trial. It took me 40minutes. I have 10 weeks to take off 10 minutes. I really struggled. I am capable of running almost double this distance over a much harder route. The excess weight made a huge impact. Losing 3 stone will have an even bigger impact.

The plan – no alcohol, early nights, 6 days a week “hard, consistent” training.

I share these photos with you because I need to see how bad I’ve let things get.

Weeks 4 & 5

Two weeks! Too Long!

And today I weighed 15stone 6lbs.

I’ve lost 2lb a week which I can’t complain about but no doubt will. Lesley has lost 22lb by doing low carb and my manager has lost 10lb by doing the Celebrity Slim shake and soup regime.

1. Eat when you’re REALLY hungry


2. Eat what you really want


3. Eat consciously


4. Stop When You’re Full


5. Drink Water

I’ve consumed vast quantities of alcohol. I’ve had several take aways, including fish and chips, but basically I have stuck to the above and I have lost weight.

I’ve got into the habit of eating breakfast. A 2 minute dinged Oat so Simple is easy to fit into the morning routine. Slight problem was when I had oatcakes for lunch and excruciating stomach pains in the afternoon (oat overload!) settled over a day or two and I do feel better for it.

Exercise has been non existent. Wait for it, two really good excuses. The knee – not good. Knew I’d have to rest it for 2 weeks. When I say rest though, I mean not run. I did intend to use the gym and swim but that’s where the other excuse comes in, the weather. Ice and snow. I have been able to get to work and get the kids to school (theirs was the only school open on one particular day!) but… the side roads have been pretty treacherous. I’ve played dancing on ice on several occasions. Last Thursday in particular dropped the big kids off at their Dad’s, approached the main road braked and continued to be propelled forward with a horrible crunching sound. Luckily there was nothing coming but rather scary.

I really “suffer” when I don’t run. I initially had the knee problem, then my hip hurt and because I didn’t run, the ankle I broke when I was pregnant with Morgan became swollen (it’s a circulation thing!) So that’s the physical side. The mental bit is that I have all the PMT symptoms and although I know I haven’t got BSE I really do turn into a Mad Cow.

Mark’s reaction is:-

“ For fcuk’s sake Lynne will you get out and run and come back in a better mood?”

Morgan made me laugh but gave me the kick up the arse I needed:- “Have you got a baby in your tummy Mummy?”

“No Morgan, why?”

“Because Auntie Corrine (playgroup supervisor) has a big tummy and she’s got a baby in hers”

Well… come hell or high water I was running yesterday. The forecast wasn’t too bad and I thought as long as we didn’t have a hard frost I’d be ok.. It had snowed overnight which was good as it had obviously warmed up and I could run on the fresh snow. I thought it was impossible for anyone to run any slower than I usually did. I was wrong. I was just extremely grateful for my tenner trail shoes. They were just the job. A work colleague had misjudged a kerb last weekend and torn the ligaments in her ankle so I was very conscious of taking care. At one stage I ended up running on grass because I had no idea where the road/pavement/verge started or ended.

Told Mark when I got back felt like I was running through treacle. His obvious response was “I wouldn’t know I’ve never run through treacle!” Doh! Best thing about it? A snow plough lifted its bucket so I didn’t get drenched and a fabulous red sun rise which had turned yellow by the time I got my camera out.







The worst thing? 200 yards from home a 4X4 dived for a lake of a puddle and I was dripping drenched

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I THINK I’VE EVER READ ABOUT EATING/EXERCISE (From Paul McKenna of course)

“There are two types of energy – potential and kinetic. Petrol is an example of potential energy – in and of itself, it just sits there , but when you stick it in an engine, it becomes ‘kinetic’ it fuels the engine to take the car wherever you want to go. As the potential energy becomes kinetic, it gets used up and needs to be replenished.

Similarly , food is the potential energy for the engine of your body. This is why it’s so important to both eat when you’re hungry and move your body.

If you keep driving without putting in enough petrol, what would you expect to happen to your engine? It would continually splutter and stall, and eventually wear out.

On the other hand, if you keep putting petrol into a car without ever driving it, the petrol would begin overflowing everywhere, creating a safety hazard and a bit of a mess.

By balancing eating when you’re hungry (filling the tank) and moving your body frequently (driving the car), your body will reward you by taking you wherever you want to go”

So that’s the plan.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow”
Albert Einstein

“The body never lies”
Martha Graham

“I think awareness I probably the most important thing in becoming a champion”
Billie Jean-King

“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I can hear heavy breathing again”
Erma Bombeck

“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”
Oprah Winfrey

“Water its living strength first shows.
When obstacles its course oppose”
Johann Wolfgang von Goeth

“Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries”
Sister Corita Kent

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight”
Phyllis Diller

*If you watch how nature deals with adversity, continually renewing itself, you cannot help but learn”
Bernie S Siegel

“Success is neither magical or mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals”
Jim Rohn

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
Jim Ryun

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
Jim Ryun

“You always pass failure on the way to success”
Mickey Rooney

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily”
Zig Ziglar

“Celebrate what you want to see more of”
Tom Peters


“Throughout the day today, ask your body this question:

“What can I do to take better care of you in this moment?”

Regardless of whether the answer is ‘take a deep breath’, ‘love me’, or ‘give me a cream cake’, honour your body’s wisdom and do what you can to take care of it.”

Paul McKenna

Week 3 - Hopefully Without Too Much Information!

Been a while. Been a while for a reason.

My obsession with food sort of disappeared. From being constantly hungry, or so I thought, to never feeling hungry is quite an achievement. It’s a very difficult thing to explain so please excuse the waffle.

I was constantly on a diet. Constantly not eating this or that. Constantly telling myself I would lose x amount of pounds in x amount of weeks. Telling myself that I could realistically be 5 dress sizes smaller in 6 months.

What it all boiled down to was food/diet/weight loss was always on my mind, every waking and often dreaming moment.

Sticking to the diet for a week or so saw results but then came the “I’ve lost 6lb this week, what harm will a packet of tortillas of a bottle of wine do?” In theory not a lot but in practice it was sabotage and I’d failed so why not have two packets of tortillas, half a box of crackers, a pound of cheese and a bottle of wine, and that’s how the downward spiral to failure would go.

By doing this Paul McKenna it’s put things into perspective. There is a great deal more to life than losing weight. His rules are not restricting but liberating.

I ate incredibly healthily Monday to Friday. I had a take away and a bottle of wine on Saturday and on Sunday because I was so busy forgot to eat until about 3pm (yup this is me!) The repercussions were a bit of a disaster. I didn’t fancy any tea and then ended up snacking all evening, and consuming another bottle of wine.

The thing is though I haven’t broken the rules and I’m back to my healthy in the week routine.

Exercise wise last week wasn’t amazing either

Monday I really needed to rest after 7 consecutive days.

Tuesday – had a massive argument with the duvet. It wasn’t particularly my body that was tired I just couldn’t wake up. Eventually I won and tootled off to the gym for what wasn’t one of my best cross trainer sessions but at least I did it.

Wednesday - walking across the car park in work, slipped and twisted my knee. Didn’t actually fall but it was a tad painful. Instead of running I went swimming

Attempted a brick session in the gym on Thursday but had to curtail the run after 5 minutes as major problems with my knee.

Friday was a scheduled rest and as I anticipated running long Saturday and biking long on Sunday didn’t worry too much. Unfortunately a problem with mould and new bookcases meant nothing over the weekend

Taught me another valuable lesson as I didn’t find humping books up the stairs particularly easy. The books weighed considerably less than the weight I’ve got to lose.

I think I’m losing inches rather than weight though. Jim said to me the other night “You know what Mum? Your boobs are now bigger than your belly” Backhanded? It’s a compliment in my books.

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out”
John Wooden

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age”
Lucille Ball

“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”
Chinese Proverb

“A Man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”
Mark Twain

“Failure is a few errors in judgement, repeated every day”
Jim Rohn

“Always act as if you have achieved what it is you are setting out to accomplish”
Joe D Batten

“Visualisation is daydreaming with a purpose”
Bo Bennett

Congratulations! For two weeks!

Well for the benefit of Jim…

Thursday cross trainer in the gym. The bit I love most about it is the way the calorie counter spins. I’m obviously not working hard enough because it feels like very little effort for burning 600 calories in an hour.

There is just no urge to overeat whatsoever. It’s as if an alien has possessed my body.

Friday – gym and static bike. I think I need to change the sport’s programme because whatever I do my heart rate stays at around 140. Was conscious of last week’s bad day in the office hit the cider but I was determined to run long on Saturday so yet another successful not on a diet, diet day.

The rain woke me during the night and all I could think of was what was I going to wear? When I left the house at 8am the rain had stopped but boy was it cold. Not a frosty cold but a bitter wind. I’d decided to do the Borders because hey it took me 82 minutes the last (and only) time I’d done it and the longest I’ve run the past 6 weeks or so is 40 minutes so what the hell let’s double it? It’s a bit of a long incline then you hit the first hill. I’d used the old rope trick previously and it got me up again – no walking – success. I hit the top and had to walk. The wind literally took my breath away. I only walked perhaps 50 yards and then a gentle climb to the next killer hill. Amazingly that too wasn’t a problem. There’s a lovely scenic, flat bit through the village which when the sun is out and you can hear the cows, horses and sheep you realise why exactly you do this running lark. Then for the decent. The lane’s a bit rough. Wish I’d used my trail shoes. Lots of mud and general crap. Then out onto the main ish road. It’s a B road. Wide enough for 2 cars just but, the motor vehicles do tend to take it a bit fast. It’s a tiny bit hairy. That’s why I try and get out early. It’s mostly downhill with a couple of undulations and then the steep downhill which absolutely killed my knees. Then pretty flat all the way home. 78minutes – absolutely delighted. I really felt like I could have carried on. I had a very civilised conversation, without huffing and puffing, with my husband when I got in and had none of the leg shakes I’d experienced last time.

Went to Chester later on and managed to bag myself some bargain gym gear except they’re not that much of a bargain as they’ve been labelled wrong and don’t fit. Never mind more incentive to shift the weight so that they will.

Morgan had a party in the Sports Centre in the afternoon. I made casual enquiries as to when the pool would reopen and was horrified to be told the end of March/beginning of April.

When we came out it was throwing it down and blowing a hooly. I rang Mark, expecting to be told to pick him up from the pub but he wanted another hour and promised to bring a take-away home with him. Disaster! Like I can’t say no! Like just because he’s having one I don’t have to have one! I enjoyed every mouthful. I didn’t touch the Bombay alu and I gave Morgan half my rice. All in all not too bad. Except…. They gave us a free bottle of wine and I drank the lot. Then had a family bag of crisps. But what the hell? One blowout a week’s fine? Isn’t it?

Sunday I got my bike out for the first time in months. I have no lights so practically the only time I can cycle is the weekend and it’s been either too icy or too windy for ages. As I struggled along I mentally wrote my blog. Gym miles is no substitute for road miles. I really must make more effort. Then I stopped beating myself up and came to the conclusion this is the 7th consecutive day of training and I’ve done very little over the past month or so. Of course I’m going to be tired. One thing that really concerned me though was I’ve lost my nerve on the downhills. In fairness it was quite windy and there was quite a lot of crap on the roads.

I’d always thought the Borders was about 5.6miles and as I did it from home was quite convinced I was getting a good 10k out of it. My bike speedo said 5.33 so I’m still much slower than I thought.

“Pleasure is the object, the duty and the goal of all rational creatures”
Voltaire

“This life is not for complaint, but for satisfaction”
Henry David Thoreau

“Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the earth”
Deepak Chopra

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate”
Oprah Winfrey

“You have to eat regularly to maintain your energy levels – if you starve your body, it simply stores everything that you do eat”
Cindy Crawford

“Congratulations! For two weeks now you have been interuptiing your old patterns of diet and exercise and building the foundations for a whole new way of relating to food, your emotions and your body. By the time you are finished with this journal, it will be as difficult for you to go back to your old ways of doing things as it will be easy and natural to eat and live in a way that truly works for you.

Remember this journal is designed to support you in creating the habits of empowered eating. Take a moment now to jot down anything you’ve already noticed about how things are changing…..”

Paul McKenna

1. My wee is clearer
2. My bowels are regular
3. I don’t constantly think of food
4. The need to unwind with alcohol has gone
5. I’m a lot calmer
6. I’m working more efficiently – my thought processing is quicker and clearer
7. I’m able to switch off
8. I have very definite goals and plans of how I will achieve them.
9. I am so far up my own arse all I can see are my boots

10. I'm really pissed off withmyself I didn't start this before and then I might be doing the Wrexham half and not have to wait until May to do the Chester half